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so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his fist towards his balls and the guy flinched and held his crotch so he was like “men may be stronger but women are tougher” and then he said “so when someone tells you to grow a pair, they mean ovaries”


i wish i had friends i could just call up at like 2am and be like “lets chill or go for a walk” and they would do it

One of my friends called me and said “let’s go for a drive! Sneak out, I’ll pick you up at the edge of your driveway” we drove around for a bit then her dad called her and screamed at her on the phone and I got kicked out of the car as she rushed home. That children, is how I ended up talking to a woman in a shell station for half an hour while another friend came to my rescue.

(Source: disowns)

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